IDENTIFYING TOXIC 'PARTNERS'

Toxic 'partners' are not always delectable, they often do and say things in such back handed, covert ways that you may not even notice the impact their actions and behaviour actually have on you.


To be clear, all couples have disagreements and differences of opinion, that is completely natural.


But the behaviour I am about to talk about goes far beyond that, it's psychological and down right abusive.


But what's disturbing is often people don't even know it's happening to them as it's covert.


Toxic 'partners' often make you feel like you're problematic. Believe me you're not the problem, they are.

Toxic 'partners' often make you feel like you're problematic. Believe me you're not the problem, they are.

I lived with a toxic 'partner' for a very long time (I say it in this way as he wasn't my partner at all, he just pretended he was)


This behaviour can start as sarcastic jokes about you and most likely escalate into straight out negative statements about you.

They may say condescending things about you in front of people.

They may say condescending things about you in front of people.

It happened to me

This can happen to anyone, I am an intelligent, well educated woman.


But the thing is I met this person when I was young and naive.


For me it started off very minor and escalated slowly over many years.


There were red flags early on but ignored them.


He put me down in a way that was covert, I didn't even realise it as he never put me down directly he just implied it.

He put me down in a way that was covert, I didn't even realise it as he never put me down directly he just implied it.

Believe me this is very damaging psychological behavior.


How he did it

I have wavy hair, he constantly told me he liked straight hair on women.


I have brown hair, he repeatedly told me he liked blondes.


I sometimes asked "do you think I look good without makeup", he would have the same response each time, "you look good with makeup on"


He would say "I always liked women with blue eyes", I have hazel coloured eyes.


I would have fun and sing out loud, he would say "shhh you can't sing, you're out of tune"

He would say things in a negative way like, "you've changed" yes I have, we're suppose to change and evolve.


I literally never heard positive things about myself from him.

So you can change many things about yourself for a person, but they will NEVER be happy.


They are just manipulating you.

So you can change many things about yourself for a person, but they will NEVER be happy.

Why is someone with you, if you aren't even their 'type'?


You need the freedom to be you, and if that person doesn't like it, well they aren't the right person.


But how do I know if this is happening to me?

What is your gut telling you when this happens?

How do you feel?

Does it make you want to close up and almost shield yourself?

Do feel like you truly can't be yourself around this person without comments?


Read about how I didn't know my relationship was abusive here


Book a private reading with me here


*If you are in a dangerous situation and are experiencing physical abuse please seek help.


Australia - White Ribbon

Phone: 1800-respect or police, 000 for immanent danger.


USA - National Domestic Violence Hotline

Phone: 1-800-799-7233 or if your unable to speak, you can text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474 or police, 911 for immanent danger.


Other Countries please seek help online or with a local organisation.