NO MEANS NO
When someone says no, they mean no, not maybe or later, NO. (Consent is always needed #metoo)
I'm an empath, I often find myself helping others even when I can't or in replacement for my own needs, just to make them happy.
Because I'm a people pleaser.
That has recently changed.
A lot of people will not take the word no as an answer.
They will try anything to manipulate you into what they want.
You don't need a reason to say no, the fact that you don't want to or can't is all that matters.
Understand if they won't take no for an answer they are violating your boundaries.
They will try anything to manipulate you into what they want.
My 'favourite' manipulation is when they call you to ask for something they know you will want to say no to, but they think if they put you on the spot you will agree to it.
I don't answer those calls.
A lot of people will not take the word no as an answer.
Don't get me wrong people contact us to genuinely chat and connect which is lovely, but I'm not talking about those people.
If these people don't want to do something they are quite happy to say no, but won't accept no from others.
But you see we all deserve the same amount of respect no matter who we are and we're all allowed to say no.
Don't get me wrong people contact us to genuinely chat and connect which is lovely, but I'm not talking about those people.
If you want to ask someone for help, of course do so, but give them the opportunity to actually say no.
A lot of people will not hear no as an answer. They will make you feel guilty for saying no, that is NOT OK!
You should never feel guilty for saying no. No means no.
If you want to ask someone for help, of course do so, but give them the opportunity to actually say no.
If someone is pressuring you to do something you're not comfortable with, don't allow them to be close to you anymore, as they are disrespecting you and pushing your boundaries.
Some people mistake kindness for weakness, this is not the case.
People should not take advantage of who they think are 'weak' but the reality is human nature can be to take what you can when you have the opportunity.
Not everyone is like this, but of course the reality is a lot of people are.
Some people mistake kindness for weakness, this is not the case.
We all know those people who call you, and you think aww that's lovely they want to see how I'm doing.
But 5 minutes in, after some basic small talk they say what they are really calling for.
We all know to tone of voice change and where it's going to go.
Why are some people treated like this?
Because this behaviour has been allowed it in the past.
It's not because we're weak, it's because we're kind.
We like to help people and want them to be happy.
We can be naive and say it's all them in the wrong, and they probably are, but allowing their behaviour is only enabling them.
I have learnt how to say no and not feel guilty for it.
How do you stop it?
If they won't take no for an answer then they don't respect you.
Take away the opportunity, cut the supply.
What will happen?
It will feel weird at the start and these people will probably get angry and make you feel guilty.
But they will eventually stop calling to use you or push your boundaries for their motives as they literally can't control you anymore.
If deep down they are good people they will start calling you to actually talk and connect instead.
Or you will never hear from them again, but is that really a loss?
To take back your power and say no to things you can't, won't or don't feel comfortable doing is so empowering.
Let's flip it for a moment, if you are the one not taking no as an answer then you need to think about your actions.
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